ON THE ROAD TO NOTHINGNESS

I am back revived and rejuvenated from the wonderful trip to Austin. We had a great time at the wedding relaxing, enjoying the Texas Hill Country, and (best of all) spending time with friends from far and wide. Highlights included the wedding ceremony, some amazing thunderstorms that almost brought the house down, mary's stories about tennis lessons with a bunch of 10 year old Sri Lankans, pam intrepidly shooing a Longhorn out of the road, and spending time with Jim without the kids. I had been afraid to say out loud how much I had been looking forward to this weekend, for fear that I would jinx it, but phew. Congratulations Matt & Caroline!! (and thanks). I had a good few days working in the Austin office, where I got several comments on my cute new hairdo (I'm really going to have to spend more time styling my hair once I get it back...). Amazing how just focusing on my job for 2 days in a row is such a much appreciated novelty.

Liam is doing great at back at daycare, O2 leash and all, which is another huge relief and a step forward on the "road to nothingness," as my surgeon described that much-longed-for-day when we are through this middle place and back to our lives as we wish them.
Dropping the kids off at daycare is a frantic game of beat the clock to try to make it back out of the parking lot before the 30 minute validation expires. I almost always fail in this endeavor (usually by about 30 seconds) and inevitably end up paying the $2. Ever since I started chemo, the very sweet parking attendant won't take my money. "As long as you're going through this Carolyn, you don't have to pay," he tells me every time. (How does he know my name?) I honestly thought that he just pushed a magic button and opened the gate, but today I figured out that he actually pays for me... which was horrifying. I tried to explain to him that he most definitely didn't need to do this, but he was adamant. "All I can do for you is pray and pay the occasional $2." My first thought was, "Good lord, I better make sure I get out of here in 30 minutes from now on!" but after further reflection, I realized how much of a gift he has given me. Since he started waving me through, the 30 minute pressure's been off-- I've been lingering, instead of rushing out. Case in point was this morning when I hung out for an extra 15 minutes and Xander showed me his domino and counting work. He and his friend Lili walked to me to the door and both gave me hug kisses to send me on my way. I've come to love these interludes with him. He's so proud to have me around and it's so fun for me to see him in his school environment. Who knew that a slice of peace could be granted for the occasional $2? There's some larger lesson here about small gestures making a huge difference and the importance of learning to accept help... but I'll just say again that I am continuously amazed and inspired by the kindness and generosity of new and old friends alike. It makes all the difference.