I’ve had the Talking Head’s “Once in A Lifetime” lyrics running through my head lately. (on the rare occasions that I can get the freakishly insidious kids song “Pig On Her Head” out of my brain). As is typical of me and 80s songs, I didn’t remember the lyrics quite right (I thought the AC/DC song “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap” was actually saying something about a Thunder Chief until I was 32), but I remembered the “You may ask yourself—how did I get here?” part (thisisnotmybeautifulhouse, thisisnotmybeautifulwife) because sometimes I don’t want to be this person. I had a dream the other night that (I was high school age) I was bopping around doing whatever it is 16 year olds do, wearing this backless sundress, and I could actually feel my hair tickling down to the middle of my back (as it did, before). I woke up all groggy and kinda still in that 16 year old mentality until I went into the bathroom, got a glimpse of my stubbly head in the mirror-- WHAM back to my reality. Sometimes it just hits me like that, and my main (notsobrave notsostrong) thought it I just don’t want to be me, dealing with this. Believe me I know I don’t have a choice, and honestly, I’m happy with myself for doing the best I possibly can, considering-- but I guess that’s why the song is in my head. Funny thing is, when I actually looked at the lyrics, they were comforting somehow…
And you may ask yourself-well...how did I get here?
And you may ask yourself
How do I work this?
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful house!
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful wife!
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the money’s gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/in the silent water
Under the rocks and stones/there is water underground.
I had forgotten about the water part. Makes me happy. (I guess I did keep at least part of that dream-16-year-old mentality because I’m finding a lot of hidden meaning in song lyrics.)
Alexander really does think it’s cool that I have removable hair-- so much though, that he likes to tell me to “take off your hair mommy!” when we’re talking to pretty much anyone, including his teacher yesterday. After I told him “maybe later,” she asked him if he could take off his hair, to which he replied: “No, mines stuck. But when I’m big, I’m gonna have boobs, and I’m gonna take off my hair.”
Leave it to a 3 year old to remind me (again) about how great I have it.
Guess it truly is good to be me. (sameasiteverwas…)
16 Comments:
Cari, Your comments are ALWAYS such an inspiration! Thank you for being you and taking the time to share "you" with "us". Hugs, Jewell
from my perspective, it is those of us whose lives you have touched that have it great! Thanks for continually being our personal 3 year old!
Sigh - the wisdom of the music of the 80s - and what wisdom there is! It taught us everything from how to be happy (Walking on Sunshine-Katrina and the Waves); to how to moon over that summer romance (Vacation - GoGos); that dancing and music are GOOD (Into the Groove-Madonna); not to mention the movie Footloose); how to love (In Your Eyes-P. Gabriel); and that it is OK to make no sense whatsoever (Karma Chameleon - Boy George; Whip It - Devo; Radio Gaga - Pet Shop Boys).
Ah yes - I think it is time to go home, put on my flourescent green leg warmers and Benetton shirt, pretend that I am John Taylor's girlfriend (Duran, Duran, of course) and listen to greats as Funky Town, Girls Just Want to Have Fun, and White Wedding. There is nothing like getting down to 80s music - it ROCKS!
And Carolyn - I recommend humming a few bars of Timbuk 3 - because your future is so bright, you gotta wear shades.
:)
Karlynn
I love, love, LOVE Alexander's commentary... the innocence just can't be trumped by anything else.
Live true!
Sophie
OK, Karlynn. Jared liking the Wiggles at first look was scary. Your knowledge of 80's music is just plain creepy. Worse, I know every single one of the songs you mentioned...sigh. Worst of all, I confess to having a thing for Laurie Berkner and her music, pigs and all.
Cari, don't forget your big suit and to do little chops up your arm for the "same as it ever was" part. Favorite David Byrne lyric of all time: "I'm an ordinary guy" (burning down the house). Maybe somewhere, but not here!
Norm's mom always said (when warning us about violent movies) that every image you ever see becomes a permanent part of you on some level. I like that idea. It makes me think that all good things you see or do become part of you too. So when you need them, you can remember things like hair tickling on your back or whatever. They all collectively become part of your unique being, and can never be taken away. Your lifetime's worth of good stuff is all yours all the time, and available to you as a permanent fixture. Now how's that for turning a theory to your advantage?
Hang in there...
bmc :)
If you want great song lyrics from the 80s you should ask Jim to pull out his bass and play some Rush for you. He knows all of the songs and has deciphered all of the lyrics. Knowing Jim he would regrow his mullet and pick out the perfect song. If he has any trouble, I sure there are a few other mullets out there who can help him.
The song that always makes me happy is that beautiful number from Titanic - so near and far, wherever you are....
We will see you guys in just over a week.
Love,
Mike and Andrea
It seems to me that having happy memory dreams is a very very good thing... focusing on the positive and getting yourself back to that real quick. If your mind is there, your body is sure to follow close behind! And your hair will be tickling your back again in no time :)
I've always liked that song and now it seems to hold new meaning... and I feel like maybe you and I are humming it together.
Love you.
xoxo
megO
by the way, we've been having a lot of 'boobie' discussions at our house lately, too ... curiously Brendan seems to be the one fixating on his 'boobies' (things that make you go 'hmmmmmmm') and I keep saying that when I grow up maybe I'll have boobs, too.
The 80s songs are fine but how about the 60s?! Now those were good days for misunderstanding deep thots...
the original... Stop in the name of love before you break my heart
the misinterpreted... Stop in the neighborhood before you hit my car.
Love your messages - each and every one.
Cal
Cari,
Hey! It's your short-term roommate from a decade ago! As I read about your little ones, I realize how long it's been since we've been in touch, which is a very sad thing. I think last time we talked, your boyfriend Jim (who knew it was going to turn out so well) was going to stay with me on a visit to Darden. Since then, life has sent you many blessings, I see, as well as a very unwelcome challenge. I am very sorry to hear about everything in your life at the moment, but I am impressed and inspired by your attitude and your great progress. Certainly, those two things are very linked. You are clearly in the thoughts and prayers of many, many wonderful people, and I am proud to join that list of people sending you happy thoughts.
In news related to this post, if it makes you feel any better, at least "Thunder Chief" is in English. Until I was 28, I thought it was "Dirty Deets and his Dunder Chief." Who is Dirty Deets you ask? And what the heck is a Dunder Chief? Who cares, I was a math major!
Love and happy thoughts,
Kim
Hola Chiquita!
How cute is that kid! I love your "X-sims"! It just shows that even he can see what a beautifully-shaped head you have (and what fabulous traits he expects to "inherit"). If it meant that we could face all our battles with such style and grace, we would all want to grow up with boobies and removeable hair...
You have to love kids! I couldn't help but to laugh out loud! How wonderful they can be.
I'm having an 80's flashback. I distinctly recall having a HUGE crush on Bruce Springsteen (and still get weak in the knees when I hear "Born to Run") and on the morning of my A.P. English exam, I find out he had gotten married to a model (not even a super model, just a plain ol model that seemed to have gotten 2 dips into the "gorgeous people" gene pool). How can an 18 year old compete with that? Another one of life's devastating blows.
As for Moline - it's in Illinois (just in case you were wondering) and I think it will take a long time (likely until after the next ice age) before it becomes a celebrity hot spot. I don't think I have to go back any time in the near future given I'm headed to Irving, TX (another hot spot).
Have a relaxing weekeend.
RBW Fan Club President
Hey C,
Just a quick note to wish you well for round 3 tomorrow. Will be thinking of you all day and sending the juju. You are awesome and we're right there with you.
lots o' love,
Clan McCafferty
Pacific Northwest Chapter
Carolyn -
I hope you had a fantastic time seeing your leadership group last week and over the weekend. How great they came to Denver!
And I will be sending you lots of extra positive juju all day so your chemo chases down those nasty radicals in the darkest corners of your body. Sending lots of love and energy,
KC
Just the same as it ever was...
Strange, I'm on a road; but its not to nowhere. Yet the track totally reminds me of so many things. Must dig out Sand In The Vaseline...
Hey what a great site keep up the work its excellent.
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