THEORY OF RELATIVITY
It's All Relative
I have been uninspired to write for the past few weeks because of #4 chemo, which was pretty much all it was cut out to be (alleviated significantly by the acupuncture treatment, I have to note) and a really annoying sinus infection (during my "good week" too, damn) that has knocked me on my butt (or as they prefer in daycare, bum) this week. Ah well. I think back to a year ago when I had a similar sinus infection and was 9 months pregnant. That was worse. At least now I can roll over without a crane.
So goes the theory of relativity (ToR) game that I play (rather successfully) with myself-- It is has been/could be worse, ya'know? Take next week, when I start my 4 rounds of Taxol treatment. Potential side effect include joint pain and nerve damage in the hands and feet-- to which my (serious) reaction is -- "Pain rather than nausea... WOO HOO!!" (I don't even have to take the anti-nausea medicine anymore, my insurance company should be cheering as well.) The treatment is a lot longer though, 4 hour infusion instead of 2. Monday's going to be a long day. Good thing the infamous bmacpiper will be there to amuse me :)
Ground View Perspective
A few notes from the just-look-how-fast-I-can-get-to-where-I'm-not-supposed-to-be World of Wham: We went to see cardio & pulmonary specialists last week to get another EKG and echocardiogram. Getting him to sit still for these tests was no small feat. As Lisa so aptly put it, Liam "likes to be where he isn't" and wasn't real keen on being attached to wires, etc. They ended up squirting a sedative up his nose (let me tell you how fun it is to sit there and watch them do these things to your kid) and after 3 minutes he was acting like he was drunk. Eyes half mast, and watching his hand move("Laaa!") like he could see a rainbow trailing after it (maybe he could?). It was amazing. I was hoping to take some home... In any event, the tests show marked improvement from before, almost back to normal-- yeah! They would like to see him again in "a few months" to reevaluate. He's still on oxygen for the foreseeable future, which is hard, but again, ToR, he's not one of the kids in the oncology unit (ohsomuchbettermethanhim). It's almost better that he's attached to the O2 so we can have a trail to see where he's gone. The other good news is that they're going to try him with the O2 at daycare starting monday, so that should be interesting.
In other kid news, Xander and I do this dopey thing where when we say good-bye we say "nose, nose, noggin" while rubbing noses and bonking heads. (Don't ask me why/how I made this up-- I used to do it before riding my bike to work and I am finding that the helmet was a must) Sometimes we joke around and play variations on a theme: "nose, nose, eyebrow.... nose, nose, cheek" etc. Now he like to say "nose, nose, no hair." :) That kid rocks.
9 Comments:
Hey C,
Missed you at work yesterday. Hope that sinus infection isn't kicking your butt (sorry, bum) too bad. We'll be thinking about you Monday - positive vibes headed your way. Might be a good weekend for Diet Coke and Mentos. Let me know how it goes!
Chris
Oh no, I've now been called out by name in the blog...the pressure!!! (But I'm secretly smiling ear-to-ear).
One thing that having kids does (other than the aforementioned loss of all social grace) is allow one to feel, with almost full impact, the pain other parents feel when their kids are hurt or sick. Every Liam post brings a tear to my eye...I remember watching Ronan go under for stitches and just having a primal, gut reaction of "this is NOT RIGHT." I sooooooo get the "better me than them" thought.
Ronan and I used to do the Nemo "Fin. Noggin. Dooooooooooood!" But I thought he was going to give me a concussion so we stopped. :) And once I thought he gave me a nosebleed; not the best aim sometimes.
Looking at the first picture in this post, I realize that you currently have the unique opportunity to don a Harley bandana, a black leather jacket and chaps, and some boots, and then to go to a biker bar and scare the hell out of the other chicks. But you'll have to stop that smiling stuff, or they'll see right through you.
Can't wait to see you Monday. Hopefully I won't run over any of the ambulance instructors Sunday afternoon and get arrested.
love,
bmc :)
Hi Cari -
Long time, no blog, eh? In fact, I think I have only blogged once. Just like I am not much of a talker, guess I am not much of a blogger (unlike my better half, Ben aka bmacpiper). My lack of bloggage, however, is in direct opposition to the amount of thinking I have been doing about you. Ben and I
talk about you daily, you know. Even when I am on the road for work, we talk about you on the phone as he keeps me up on events.
Anyway, Ben is on his way to see you in the next couple of days. It is a twist on our normal life ... I am the one that normally leaves town (due to work) and Ben gets the oh-so-hard job of being at home with the kids all day and all night. This time, he gets to catch a plane and I get to catch up on some kid-time. I have a feeling I am going to come out of his trip to Colorado with a new appreciation for what he does at home.
Which leads me to my point. As you know, events like these make you start appreciating the things you take for granted, like husbands, friends, etc. Re: friends, I think often, "What can I do for Cari?" I certainly can't do what I really want to do, which is take the cancer away. It's silly, but sometimes it makes me feel incompetent ... I can't do what I really want to do for you, so what can I do that will make any kind of a difference? Sure, sending meals etc. makes a difference, but it is not the kind of gift that I really want to give to you. And then I realized, Ben in-and-of-himself is a gift that I get to share with you. You know Ben - to put a cliche to work, a mold was broken when Ben came into the world. I am trying not to sound too sappy, but Ben has something that not all of us have, and to get to share life with him is pretty awesome (something I don't appreciate enough sometimes). So, I am glad that you get to share in the awesome-ness that is Ben. Having him come out to Colorado to be with you as you start your Taxol treatment is a pretty terrific gift. I am feeling not-so incompetent anymore. So, enjoy! :-)
Love,
Kathryn
Hey Carolyn -
Glad you hear that you get to graduate beyond the red stuff (is the next stuff blue or some other groovy rainbow color?). And especially glad to hear that Liam's lungs are almost good as new. Yay for big milestones!
Have a great time with Ben for a few days (and happy b-day bmacpiper)!
KSC
Carolyn -
Great pictures! I don't have any two-legged kids to report on but my four-legged wonder fell down the stairs yesterday (my fault, I turned off the light, she missed the corner, and then tumbled like a beginner skier on a double diamond run). As she yiped loudly, I sprang to her rescue, caught her on the last bounce, and gave her a milkbone to ease the pain. She milked the sympathy routine for all that it was worth -I'm not certain how, but she ended up on my pillow this morning and I was left without.
Be certain that I will be sending you HAPPY THOUGHTS today! Here they come...don't be afraid of the intensity, frequency, duration (or any other term I can remember for physics). With your friend Ben as entertainment, I'm certain the time will pass quickly. I think he is an excellent candidate for a "guest blog" on your website.
Happy May Day....time to run around the May Pole, dance, sing, and chase boys with pussy willows (or something like that).
RBW Fan Club President - Pasadena
Whew! It is great to be done with AC! The taxol is a whole different bag of goodies, but anytime I'm not nauseated by something, I'm in a much better place. :)
Does it seem surreal that you are half way through this? You've mde it this far with a smile on your face, the next have will zip right by. Okay, it won't actually zip by at all, but you will get through it because you have a system now and know what to expect for the most part and you have made it through the toughest part.
It is nice to see that you are still smiling through all this. Sending you good thoughts always!
Were you hoping to take the sedative home for yourself or Liam or maybe both? sounds like fun to me! If you can get any extra, let me know!
I think it might be appropriate to say "nose, nose, perfect noggin" since your new hair do has revealed yet another 'very impressive' side of Cari :)
Been thinking of you all day - hope you're doing well and catching lots of positive vibes from around the world. 12 days and counting!
Big happy hugs,
MegO
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