I NEED ANOTHER ANIMAL

I don't know if "Brave as a Tiger, Strong as an Ox" is going to cut it for me anymore. I need to add another animal. Potentially a zoo.
We've had a rough go the last few days. (Apparently I've picked up Jim's talent for understatement after being with him for so long.)
The plan: I actually planned my entire chemo schedule around this past weekend. I wanted to be as well as I possibly could because I had a pre-diagnosis Leadership Council meeting I was hosting in Denver scheduled for last Thursday and Friday. Leadership Council is a group of 16 people from across the corporation who get together at different locations around the country to develop presentations for our Executive Council (CEO, etc.) Basically, it's like the Apprentice without getting fired. I'm really glad to be a part of it and absolutely love meeting/hanging out with this group of 15 amazing people. It was extremely lucky that the meeting was planned in Denver, given my limited traveling schedule (I missed the last meeting in Miami after my surgery). In any event, 4 of them were going to stay for the weekend and come up to the condo. We had the kids set up to be with sisters/grandmas from Thurs-Fri. Jim and I were going to go out with the group to the Broker Thurs night, head up to the mountains Friday and have a kid-free weekend of hottubbing and skiing. Looking forward to this has been a beacon for me.
The reality: I left about 8 Wed night to stay in a hotel downtown so I could get to work before 7 to prepare for the meeting. Liam was fine. That night, however, he really had a rough night and Jim was up all night with him because he was sick and having trouble breathing. Thursday Jim brought Liam into the Pediatrician and they were sent to the hospital-- again. I was unreachable in my meetings, so jim had to deal with this all by himself. By the time I finally got in touch with Jim Thursday afternoon, Liam had been admitted into the hospital under extreme pressure from the doctor (to the hospital, not us). Liam has been into the emergency room 3 times before and sent home because he seems fine, and the dr. really wanted to get to the bottom of it. I was in the middle of this big meeting (which of course I could have left) but it's a really bad idea for me to be in a hospital, given everything. Thursday night Liam had a fever of 106 (I didn't know it could go that high).
Friday, Sat and Sunday were a waiting game of trying to get the specialists to see Liam (pulminologists, cardiologist) and get him in for tests (chest x-ray, EKG, echocardiogram). Jim got to where he could predict Liam's oncoming fevers by watching his pulse rise beforehand and they could keep them under control with tylenol and advil. They ultimately think he had the flu (Type B, because he got the vaccine) but that didn't solve the problem of why his pulseox always goes so low. I was able to go over Friday morning, Sat night and Sunday, and add a mask to my sexy bandana (amazing Liam could recognize me). My mom and Carol were there all day Friday and Saturday. I can't tell you how amazing they are. Jim would never leave because he wanted to make sure he talked to all the doctors. He is beyond amazing. I ended up going up to the mountains on Friday night and coming back Saturday afternoon. Admitting that I needed to do that for myself was really hard, but unbelievably necessary.
Finally, after all the tests, the doctors concluded that Liam has secondary pulmonary hypertension. Basically, his lungs have never had the chance to recover from some nasty "viral pneumonias" he got in Nov-Dec and although he can compensate when he's well, when he gets a cold, his lungs basically shut down. The long and short of it is that he has to be on oxygen for the next 2 months or so to give his lungs a chance to get better. The most important thing is he will get better, and ultimately it's a "good" diagnosis given some of the other things they were considering. The logistical challenge is can't go to daycare.
When I first heard this news I couldn't think. It was just too much. Once I found out that he could crawl and learn to walk and that it would be a much bigger pain for us than him it was a lot better. I'm basically home every other week anyway and I have all this time off. Family and friends are already mobilized... they just have to be deployed now, I guess (back to the battle thing, but hey). Ultimately, maybe it will be easier because now there will always be someone at home, to help take care of me and to cover if the kids get sick.
We're going to prove this "it take a village" thing.
I'm off to chemo #3 in a few minutes. Luckily I'm feeling a lot better from the cold I caught last Thurs (how's that for insult to injury?)
Jim says what you can do is do something that you wouldn't normally do that makes you happy ("read the paper before you go to work, buy a sports car") and send us a long some of those happy thoughts.
We will work it out.