KEEPING THE WOLVES AT BAY
I really don't understand how people with short hair don't rub their heads all the time... I'm so fuzzy! So Operation Fuzz Head went well. Honestly, I was quite nervous and sorta freaking out right at the beginning, but after she cut off a huge ponytail on the top of my head and pointed out I had a really impressive mullet, I made it over this hair-loss hurdle. Yippee! Physically it's strange to not have my hair to deal with, man do I get bad "bed head", and I'm going to have to switch from my beloved Duke visor to a baseball cap, but all and all, not too bad. (Those detachable ponytails are in the mail!)
So my sister Lisa gave us a huge break last night and watched both kids overnight(!). We went gambling up in Central City. After immediately losing $10 after 10 spins of the $1 slots, I ended up winning over $20 on the nickel slots (!!). There's some lesson there about appreciating the small things, I imagine...
Coordinated Happy Though Alert: I go in for the port surgery tomorrow at 7:30 am. I honestly have very little idea what it will entail, but I think the actually surgery will be around 8:30 and I will be released around 10:30 (?). My chemo appointment is at 1pm (mountain time :) ) and is scheduled for about 2 hours.
Did you ever read any of those Jack Londonish books about the guys up in Alaska out in the middle of nowhere, having crazy adventures and trying not to freeze and/or get eaten by a bear? I kind of feel like one of those guys during the evening after supper... I'm out in the wilderness, but I've built a huge fire and I'm all full and toasty... but the sun will go down soon and I know the wolves are out howling and circling. But I've got a lot of wood and I'm pretty sure I'll make it until morning... but underneath the bravado, I'm pretty darn scared of the wolves.
Just help me keep the fire stoked, kay?
herewego...
posted by Carolyn @ Sunday, March 05, 2006
38 comments
38 Comments:
May ze Force be with you!!! Before you know it, you will look back and think "if only I knew then what I know now..."
xoxo (pronounced "zo-zo" according to my best friend's senile and love-able great-grandmother),
Sophie
We had a great time hanging out with X and Wham last night!! Thanks for letting look after them while you developed a healthy gambling habit!! I've never acutally sat down and watched The Wiggles before (I don't know why I would have) but I can now see why it's such a hit! In some remote, infantile corner of my brain (ok, it's not so remote) I was completely sucked in!! Xander and I sat there together on the couch, not saying a word, just staring intently at this phenomenon. When it was over, we just kinda looked at each other with a new sense of understanding...a connection that only he and I, and the other 2 million 2-year-olds have. Ahhh, it feels great to belong!!
Anyway, thanks again, sleep well, and good luck tomorrow!!
-jarod
Jarod, you're scaring me. I have never before heard of someone liking the Wiggles on first encounter. Especially that damn octopus!
Cari, I hope you took time to film a commercial (mullet) with those Canadian guys from Hockeytown. You would do them proud.
"I know it's none of my damn' business," he began apologetically as we walked toward one of the hangars, "but for heaven's sake, chum, what's up?"
"Oh," I replied cheerfully, "I'm going off to spend a year or two living with a bunch of wolves, that's all."
The pilot grimaced as if he were a small boy who had been justly rebuked for an impertinence.
"Sorry," he mumbled contritely. "Never should have asked."
(Farley Mowat, "Never Cry Wolf")
In the end, the wolves posed no threat to humans or caribou, and he learned a heck of a lot from them about himself and the world around him. I bet you'll do the same. You are as strong as anyone who has ever faced this road, and stronger than most who have.
Just remember, when the going gets tough, eat a mouse in front of the other mice.
love and strength always,
bmc :)
Carolyn -
Sending you happy thoughts...as I write this, you should be getting released from surgery and enjoying a mid morning break (likely still reveling in how "light" your head feels with your new doo) - it looks great! I got my hair cut about two weeks ago - darned if it wasn't shorter on one side than the other (so of course I "fixed" it myself)...perhaps my head is just lopsided?
Don't be scared - for those of us that are not fortunate enough to be in Denver right now, we are with you in spirit. HAPPY THOUGHTS!
Pasadena Posse
We're all here to throw logs on the fire...at all times!! Plus...we've got big dogs to keep the wolves away. They actually have a plan...Parker is going to distract them with her drive by lickings and Santo will take down any wolves that come close. For they too have bonded with X and Whamo...and would never let anything happent to their mom. Speaking of Whamo...I just realized how perfect that name is for him at the moment...I'm picturing him whack Santo in the face. He's got spunk, that kid. He gets it from his mom. We're all here Cari...
"Herwego" means we're that much closer to being done...baby steps...you can do it!!
Hey Cari,
I haven't seen since our fun little car accident in Denver a few years ago. I've been begging Lisa to improve her driving skills. She really should have possessed Spiderman-like reflexes to avert that intoxicated driver. Oh well.
Hey, please know that Alison and I are thinking about you, and that we adore you and your family. Please keep that million dollar smile on your face at all times. It brings out your inner beauty better than anything else.
God bless...
Michael & Alison Wissot
Carolyn- Lisa e-mailed me that today is your first chemo appt. I'm praying for a wonderful host of nurses/technicians to care for you, and for minimal illness, and for maximum effect. Hang in there!!
Hey Dearie! You're in my thoughts and prayers, as you proceed farther down the road on this journey...not what you would have picked had you been given a choice, but you have dealt with this all so bravely and strongly, YOU ROCK! (as someone I so admire and respect, would say)! See you soon!
Hi Cari,
Warm thoughts and a bottle of sunshine from my family to you and yours. You have a great attitude - and a cool web site too. We'll be checking in on you and look forward to hearing of your positive progress.
Cheers,
LP
Cari,
I am a friend of Jarod and Lisa and wanted to just take a moment to send you well wishes and hope today on your first day of chemo. I will be checking back in on your progress on your site. Sisters are wonderfully treasured, unique and unparalleled gifts in this world. Getting to know Lisa through Jarod, I can only imagine the bond the two of you share and how it must be growing even closer daily now. I will keep you in my thoughts and hope for courage in the darkest moments, laughter to carry your soul and continuing, endless love that I see is already surrounding you.
Most Sincerely -
Laurie (Tulsa, OK)
Cari,
I beleive mullets are under rated, so more power to you. We are thinking of you and sending positive vibes your way.
Brian and Heather Simms (friends/colleagues of Lisa)
Stay strong Carolyn! Friends and family are your firewood....and there are a lot of trees standing tall for you! Sending the love your way for strength and patience:-)
Hi Carolyn, friend of your sister Lisa here.. Debbie Ponis.
My friend and coworker has a saying posted above her work station and this one rang out to me today as I was thinking of you and what you had to go through today:
Whatever the MIND can conceive,
And the HEART can believe,
The BODY will achieve.
Stay strong in your mind and heart and let them take your body through this rough time.
Thinking of you!
Debbie Ponis
(used to play vb with your sis)
Cari-I'm a friend of Lisa's---who I love---so I by some transitive property I love you too. I actually was in your house in Denver on the day Lisa first saw it, several yers ago & I love that too:-) Anyway, you are such a funny girl, keep those entries coming! Noone has even been blessed with more love than you are right now, you are in my prayers as is your entire family, all the best, Amy F.
Hi Couzin!! thanks for posting a picture of your cute new hair do! I check your website everyday - sometimes even twice a day. i haven't "commented" yet, but i HAVE been thinking of you and your beautiful family. You are so clever and inspirational. I know that my mom has sent you the breadpudding recipe! I highly recommend getting someone to make it for you! it is SO good :) I'm not sure if you want to hear random unrelated stories or not...but here is one just for fun: my parents and sean and i are on a co-ed volleyball team. we were undefeated until last night :( we played pretty well. the other team was just better. but that didn't stop us from having fun. This is the first time in four years that we've had even a winning season, so we know how to lose and smile at the same time :) good luck today. i'll be thinking of you. love amanda
Cari - I've always admired your brains (sometimes with envy... :) ) and now I admire your artistry with words. Thank you for giving me insight into the "C" word. It has affected people I know and love but you gave me perhaps a glimpse of what they went through. I now admire your strength and relentless honesty as well. I only wish I had said "Hello" to you under different circumstances. It's been too long. Please give my "Hello" to Jim also -- it's been too long with him as well. You have a "too silent" army (Navy?) of supporters behind you, armed with thoughts of the better days ahead. BTW, You have a great family!
Hi Cari,
Have thought about you all day. I am anxious to hear how this day went. Hope the mountains offered great relaxation (I know, what am I thinking with two kids!!) The weather was so beautiful though. I am holding you in my heart, kiddo. I need to get over and see those little guys! Take care.
Love, Colleen
Well, Cari-O,
I've been thinkinkg of you all day, sending prayers and positive energy, and finding great comfort knowing you are surrounded by so so so many people who love you(near & far). Hope you are feeling warm and fuzzy wrapped up in that love blanket.
Big gentle hugs to you and your boys,
MegO
wolves? there are no wolves here! remember when you were young and camping (or talking about camping) and just THOUGHT you were hearing wolves? or that one of your 'friends' was trying to freak you out by making those 'wolf sounds'? Well? Jump right in and tell your campfire story....we're listening and we all know the wolves are just a facade :)
You really are incredible, Cari!
Lisa
Cari,
I just wanted to let you know that I have been thinking about you and praying for you. You are such a strong, amazing person (as shown by your website and stories I have heard for years from Lisa). I just wanted to wish you the best. Take care.
Tami Gaillard (Lisa's pal from CU)
Cari --
You are an inspiration!
Hang in there girlfriend.
Sending you MANY happy days.
Love, Michele T.
Cari - I am Ladd Parrish's sister. I recently moved out here from AZ. In Tucson a friend of mine Cathy, with two small children, is fighting breast cancer. She has been an inspiration to me as you are now. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Please know that you are not alone - other women are going through this next to you and all of us are right behind you. Let me know if you ever want to speak with Cathy - she would love to help you. Stay strong and pace yourself, but lean on us for support - we are here for you. I would also love to take the kids for you at any time - my treat. Ladd and Susannah as well as Jarod and Lisa will give you a reference. Please let me know 303-909-7788. With Love - Teal
Cari,
Hope your first day of chemo went as smoothly as possible, and that you find some comfort in knowing how much you are loved by so many people! Sending you my thoughts, prayers, good wishes, karma, and the best of everything to help you thru these next months.
xoxo,
jill (Lisa's friend)
Cari. I'm one of the many friends of Lisa who is wishing you amazing strength, determination and vision. I have walked in two (very enlightening and long) Avon walks, witnessed the radical mastectomy and insuing remission of my maternal grandmother's breast cancer , the lumpectomies of my mother and the remarkable, bordering on miraculous, recovery of my cousin's stomach cancer. With my own personal attention to detail, the one commonality between all women (besides me of course) is they were tremendously and phenomenally loved and cared for. It is with a quick eye and a quick read from your blogs that you are too.
Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Kira (and COlin) Forkin.
Cari,
Best of luck to you. I enjoyed reading your blog, you are an amazing person. Keep being brave as a tiger.
Allen (Tracey's friend from, well, I have no idea how to explain it)
Cari,
I know you don't know me, but, I quasi-know you...I'm Tracey's friend from her Secret Society.
Keep fighting the good fight and you're in my thoughts, buddy.
EC
Hi Cari,
You are amazing!! I'm a friend of Lisa's and although I only met you briefly at their wedding celebration at Red Rocks, I want you to know that I'm thinking about you and sending you strong vibes of health and vitality as you start chemo. My mom and I have both had cancer -- she's a breast cancer survivor of almost 15 years! I never had to (got to?!) go through chemo myself but my Mom did. After reading your latest blog entry, I'd say you've cleared one of the biggest hurdles -- the hair loss. For my mom, it was such a visual reminder ... and she was so attached to her hair as a symbol of her beauty that it was one of the most difficult parts. But it sounds like you're already adjusting to your "fuzz head" -- like I said, you're amazing! Chemo will be tough at times but know that you've got lots of people sending warmth and healing your way.
Best of luck,
Steph
I was just thinking about how cool it is that you always bring out the best in people... now especially.
:)
Meg
Hi there,
I am finally catching up with your blog- your pictures are wonderful! And I am impressed with your incredible strenth and courage. I have been thinking of you and sending you good thoughts non-stop (as is Finn, in between the poopy diapers, the naps, and being loved/tortured by his very proud, protective, and slightly jealous big sister).
We are here if you need us.
Christine
PS- I need to meet your new brother-in-law... the Wiggles? Really?
Cari -- Hi -- have been thinking about you a lot yesterday and today. I LOVE your haircut. Hope all goes great.
Mary R
Hi Cari, Such wonderful notes from all your supporters!!! Hope yesterday went OK and that you're slugging through today. ONE down! Big hugs! Jewell
Hi, Cari. I connected to the link from "2hands". I will be adding both of you to my "keep fighting" links. 'Best to you and your family! YOU CAN DO IT! ;o)
Hey, me again...
Just finding myself endlessly refreshing your page, and thought I'd better just write again before I go crazy. Hope you're doing well today, taking it easy after the flurry of yesterday.
We've been in and out of rain and sun all day today, kind of metaphoric if you ask me. :)
Thinking of you, talk soon,
bmc :)
C,
I am sure you'll get through this with flying colors. We'll be with you every step of the way.
Phil
PS-My hair is still shorter than yours!
I hope yesterday went as well as it could have gone. My thoughts are with you....always.....I think it is awesome that you donated your hair. Some little girl out there is going to look beautiful with your lovely locks. A friend of mine went through chemo a few years back and she had really gorgeous hair. When it grew back it was even thicker and shinier....just thought I'd throw something positive out there for you to look forward to.
On another note, I was looking at your pictures and I have to say you have a beautiful smile. I think when you have long hair people tend to notice your facial features less, but now all of your wonderful feautures will shine through. Inside and out you are truly beautiful! Stay strong tiger...you are such an inspiration.
--kara
Cari,
Please know that we will be thinking and praying for a successful and very smooth surgery. May the doctors hands be steady and fast and may your recovery be a quick one. Be strong and know the Welch family is praying for you!
My thoughts are with you, all the Nobels, and your extended family. I wish you a happy, healthy, and cancer-free future. I wish my best from Colorado Mountain Country......
Good Luck! Our prayers are with you!
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