FEELS SO GOOD TO BE FEELIN' GOOD AGAIN
You know when you've been sick for awhile and you've been feeling miserable and then one day you feel a little better, but it's so good to not feel awful you feel great? (huh?) Multiply that by a gazillion and that's me. Today I felt the best I've felt in months-- and it's only going to get better-- (in july anyway--and believe me, I'll take what I can get).
I'm on my way home from back-to-back trips to Fairfield, NJ and Midwest City, OK (I know, I know, I'm a jetsetter). Jim and I had the honor of attending Raj's traditional Indian wedding. It was a multi-day affair with lots of Bollywood music, dancing, and the most beautiful outfits I've ever seen. Wow. We're missing out with the whole "white wedding" tradition. We got to see a lot of Jim's old friends from when he lived in Dallas... we first saw them at one of the parties, when I was wearing my hair. "No one knows!" I whispered to jim, "How cool!" It was good and bad, because as nice as it was not to focus on it, I kinda wanted to take credit, y'know? It's like there was this huge (almost dead) monster in the room that was invisible to everyone else but me and jim.
But it's a lot easier to be asked "How ARE you?" when you have 7 years worth to answer for--including a trip around the world, marriage, multiple moves, jobs, a house, and 2 babies... helped to put everything into perspective. Cancer, someday, could be the thing that no one would ever guess about me. (right now it's the fact that I was in the Navy)
And did I mention I feel REALLY good? I must've been a Tasmanian devil before (funny, I don't remember being energetic?) because now I'm pretty much bouncing off the walls. Working all day. Staying up past 9pm. (wildandcrazygirl, i know).
I'm really looking forward to being home. Liam is taking his first steps when I finally have the energy to chase him. We get to go up to the mountains for a long weekend. The 4th of July has always been my favorite holiday...
What a difference a week (with no treatment!!!) makes.
(ithinki'llstayinColorado)
posted by Carolyn @ Wednesday, June 28, 2006
16 comments
16 Comments:
Let the Sunshine in, Carolyn! OOOOwwwEEEEE! I can feel the smiles from you and J and X and Wham and of everyone reading this seeing and knowing that you feel better. I FEEL Better!!
Thank you For Sharing! Enjoy the best holiday weekend in the mountains!
Keep bouncing off the walls, you monkey!
Love, Mary in Lanka
ps You were in the Navy?!? Is that where you learned to play roller hockey?
you're lookin good too!!! (great actually!)
Carolyn -
Can you hear the Villagers celebrating with you (and cheering with excitement)? You can literally feel your sense of joy (and enjoyment for life in general) just by reading your blog. I love the 4th of July. I actually really enjoyed it when I lived in Norfolk because it is such a patriotic town - lots of flags, parades, music, large ears of corn dipped in a old coffee can filled with a 'butter-like' substance, cotton candy, etc.
Enjoy the holiday weekend and blog again soon. It is truly wonderful to know that you feeling better.
RBW Fan Club President - Pasadena
Carolyn, how wonderful to hear your words and know you are feeling good, that's a delightful way to get ready for the 4th. Bless you and yours...AJ
oh baby! I SO relate. In a mere four months (hah) I hope I'll be feeling like that. Thanks for posting this! Now I know there is light at the end of this friggin chemo tunnel...
It is so wonderful to see you healthy again. Sometimes, my codependency is a positive thing. And this is definitely one of those times!
Love,
Dad (on behalf of your other codependent relatives and friends...you know who you are)
Happy sigh...
I relate to your sickness analogy. It's like a really bad hangover--you can't sleep, can't eat, can't get comfortable. But then, somewhere around 3 or 4PM, you suddenly are famished, and you eat and nap like a teenager again. And the rest of the day, your outlook is just GROOVY.
I've always liked the end of "American Beauty", and it popped to mind for this entry.
Lester: "I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me ... but it's hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much. My heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst ...
And then I remember ... to relax, and not try to hold on to it. And then it flows through me like rain. And I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life. You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. Don't worry ... you will someday."
love ya. enjoy the mountains, and go see the fireworks in Grand Lake if you haven't before.
bmc :)
Yipppeeee!!!! It makes me so happy to hear you happy. I am so glad you are feeling good. I am in Chicago on an LC meeting and we are really missing you. Unfortunately Teresa couldn't make it so I'm stuck with all of the boys....please hurry back! Miss you a ton....ecstatic that you are feeling better.
--kara
It is so good to hear the giggle and joy in your voice. I am thrilled you are feeling better. I know you are tired and challenged by these words, but I find you to be one beautiful, wonderful woman with an amazing strength and ability to share this journey with honesty, knowledge and humor. Your
blogs have become an intregal part of my life. your village is awesome. You have touched my heart and life. Thank you for you!
Susan ( Yup - Kara's mom!)
Yipee! Whooop-whoop! Yowza! Carpe Diem!!!!
And a hearty YAWP to celebrate!
I am oh so glad to hear how good you feel - I wish you the most normal (perhaps even boring?) July 4th in ages.
Hugs,
Karlynn
Oh happy day! What a great blog. You rock, you crazy Tasmanian Devil. Whew. Have a great time in the mountains deviling it up with all your devilish fellows.
Love, Teri
Cari,
How wonderful it was to read your entry. I am so glad that you are feeling better. Especially, now that Liam is getting to the stay where you will be running a lot : ). What fun you will have! You have been so strong, honest, tired, happy about the little things... I admire your ability to share your experience with such honesty! I am sure there are people who are reading this and thinking thank god I am not alone!
Have fun!
Cynthia
Hi Cari!
You SOUND good. It's wonderful to hear! Hope you have a great long holiday weekend in the mountains.
What a fun blog to read. You've made me feel happy!!!
Love ya,
Pam
Yipee is the right word. Your blogs are always positive even when you are talking about anger and other normal reactions, but I'm so happy for you that you are feeling good. Happy 4th to all of you and have fun in the mountains.
MR
And as cool as it would have been to visit you in Australia, I am glad you plan to stay in CO. But that is just me being selfish!
Hugs,
Kar
Your website has a useful information for beginners like me.
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