NUTHIN' MUCH
I have been uninspired to write lately because the road to recovery, although progressing, is pretty dull. Plus my stupid hand is still bugging me a lot so it's hard to type (although I am getting better at left-handed stuff). I am back home, and it's great to be back around the guys, but I have to admit I miss my cocoon easy-chair sitting, cable-watchin', sleeping-in life at Richard's where all I had to worry about was when to take the next Vicoden. Now that I'm half-way thrown back into the life of responsibility-- almost sick kids, never ending laundry, schedule-juggling blah blah blah-- I am easily overwhelmed, often incompetent, and habitually feeling miles away from who and where I want to be.
But on a moment-by-moment basis, things are good. I can sit down on the floor and liam will toddle over and give me a hug. I almost look like I chose my hairstyle. Jim pointed out an Animal Hospital at a strip mall and Xander said "that's where mommy was!" I'm closer to my Mom than I've ever been. I'm way further along at 3 weeks than I'd ever imagined I would be... in the next few weeks I'm looking forward to the return of my wit, energy, and renewed superpowers.
posted by Carolyn @ Thursday, August 17, 2006
12 comments
12 Comments:
I've been feeling the same way (about you) lately, like, "What would she write?"
Maybe you could share some of your wild, drug-induced, hallucinatory dreams or something. Or maybe give us an up-to-the-minute account of the reduction of colors on your arms.
But as you probably already gathered, we're all hanging on every word, even if you write about cutting your toenails (dear god, he mentioned FEET on her blog!).
My mom is here right now, and I can tell you that the combined powers being sent your way from up here are enormous!
Life will wait; always does. Stupid weeds keep on growing, darnit. I'm sure you're doing all you can to get better each day, and I know you'll come out of all this with both guns blazing. Kind of like Butch and Sundance at the end of the movie (just forget about the part where the entire Bolivian army is amassed on rooftops and someone yells, "FIRE!" when they do...).
I was looking at some Team in Training literature the other day (something I've wanted to do for a long time--it is fundraising for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society via endurance sports), and a particular sentence caught my eye. It went something like, "You will be paired with a cancer patient/survivor, someone whose challenge is greater than your own." I thought, "To say the least."
Keep after it; you'll be a person beyond even your own wildest dreams and expectations on the other side of all this. How is that possible?
I guess that it comes back to that whole "the realm of possibility is bigger than the realm of imagination" thing.
Love you and talk soon,
bmc :)
yeah, the real recovery stuff is always sorta anti-climactic. You don't get the solicitous, slavish, adoring round-the-clock care that we surgical patients have come to know and love, but, you do start to get your life and ambitions and, dare I say it, MOJO back...
and with mojo comes energy, and wit and superpowers...and (oh shit) responsibility...
oops, sorry to remind you...!
but, i know you're glad to be onthe mend. and we who read you are glad you posted again. Maybe we're all finally getting our mojo workin!
Sooo glad to hear from you and that all is progressing well, in spite of the challenges. Keep those blogs coming! Sending you hugs, Jewell
Carolyn -
I spent last Sunday with a close friend and her 8 month old daughter. First time in several months that I haven't worked a weekend and it was just fun to enjoy the simpler things in life - like amusing a child with tupperware and wooden spoons (I really need to buy the kid some toys...just kidding, she has a ton but apparently is in a phase where only tupperware will do). I hope that as you grow stronger you can appreciate the fact that we are all so happy that you are here still writing to us and letting us know that you are on the mend. Even an "uninspired" blog is a welcome thing to read to me because it tells me that you doing okay.
Enjoy the weekend and another dose of HAPPY THOUGHTS from me!
RBW Fan Club President - Pasadena
Carimazing! Never fear, your superpowers will resurface in due time - I think they are just giving you some time off to let you recover at your own pace.
I know that you are becoming even more strong than you ever were before and more fantastic and more extraordinary every hour and every day as your body heals.
This is one villager who can't wait to see where your superpowers will take you once you're back on your feet again -
I wish I could do more that just tell you how much I admire you and what a hero you are. I'm thinking of you lots and lots and sending you as much healing karma as I can muster!
love, Teri
You are truly amazing and I appreciate hearing even the mundane. Thanks for checking in and saying hi. Keep on keeping-on and your powers will return with renewed force...and your village will smile and sigh as RBW flies off into the sunset to live happily ever after. I just love happy endings!
Hugs,
Karlynn
So, a friend of mine told me today that she was feeling overwhelmed by the project she's working on, but she took a step back and reminded herself that "at least I'm not moving to another state!"... funny, when I start to feel overwhelmed by our move, I think of all the crap YOU are deeling with and take a deep breath and give my kids a hug. so I guess I have to keep reminding myself that the rough road doesn't last forever. Granted my rough road is FAR LESS bumpy than yours. My biggest challenge is keeping things in perspective and remembering to enjoy the little things along the way. And you have ALWAYS been so good at helping me do that. I know I'm looking forward to having our move behind me and I can only imagine how you feel about yours! I hope you can see your smooth newly paved superhighway and are ready to go cruising! "Life is a highway, I'm gonna ride it all night long." (Snoopy dance :)
Thinking of you.
MegO
Dear Nobel,
Welcome home!
I feel better that you feel better. If you are up for it, please send a picture of your healed arms (the picture you included on 8-8 is still in my mind) and also a picture of your sunshiney face!
Take your time, Nobel!
Heal every bit of your beautiful self!
Love, Maryjet
Dropped in to give you a big Texas Howdy and wish you well. No need to wait for the return of your wit, it's there. The energy and superpowers won't be far bahind.
RBW Fan Club - San Antonio Chapter
Hey C,
Just thinking about you, and thought I'd drop a quick note. We had a cool grey day today, which reminded me that the equinox is but weeks away, and soon we'll once again be in the embrace of eight hour days.
"Summer nights and long warm days
Are stolen as the old moon falls
My mirror shows another face
Another place to hide it all
Another place to hide it all
And I'm lost, behind
The words I'll never find
And I'm left behind
As seasons roll on by"
Headed to Boise next week for a visit with K's family. Still planning Denver in mid-December for eight weeks or so.
Hope you're hanging tough and feeling more and more like yourself. Always on our minds.
love,
bmc :)
Just wanted to send you a big hug and let you know that we're hear thinking about you and sending positive, recovery energy.
Love,
katherine
Carolyn-
Wow, you've been through so much and your delightful sense of humor is still intact. Think of you ofen and hope your heart remains open and lively...
Rebekah
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