YOU'RE WELCOME FOR THE CANCER

“You’re welcome for the cancer,” sweet & sincere 4-year-old Riley told me as he left the Village Party last month… and as I composed this, my last TigerOx blog, it seemed like an apropos title. Although I’m hardly thankful for the events of the past year (I’m still somewhere in between the “pink ribbon” and the “cancer sucks” club) I recognize that I do have an incredible amount to be grateful for. I can be grateful for the fact that I found the lump and followed up on it (which, as a dr-phobe, was completely outside my character) and that my OBGYN sent me straight to get an ultrasound. “1 in 100 chance,” she said, “but it’s good to be sure.” (At first I thought this was her just doing her job, but the more and more stories I hear about doctors & nurses dismissing the concerns of women (“you’re too young…”) I realize I was in the lucky minority.) I can look back with gratitude on the fact we have great health insurance-- second opinions, tests & drugs extraordinaire for (granted A LOT of) $25 co-pays, or that I had wonderful doctors and state of the art treatment, none of which was fun (ok, some of those chemo sessions had some moments, especially when marshmallow guns were involved) but none of which could’ve been better. And mostly I can be glad that we're through it. But what has been truly extraordinary about this journey has been the people involved. I made people wear nametags at the party (jim thought it was really funny that I wore one myself, but hey) because there were people there from all aspects of our lives: family, work, friends, school… and not many people knew each other. “Introduce yourself to someone”, I told the crowd, “because, believe me, you people are good to know.” I should know.
Just a few things you all have given over the past year:

• Cards to cover a wall in the kitchen and fill a huge scrapbook
• Food for 6 months, and the pounds to prove it (Yum!)
• Over 700 hours (18 weeks) of donated leave
• Hundreds of blog comments
• More chemo buddies than sessions (and a reputation at the clinic for crazy behavior)
• Free parking at daycare
• An “infusion fusion” mix cd for each chemo session with a follow up “Ode to the belly boob” best of collection
• Over $10,000 to the Avon walk
• Team TigerOx of 30+ at the Race for the Cure
• Oil changes & lawn mowing
• No problem filling in a month of child care when liam was out of daycare & I was out of commission
• Enough of movies, books, and TV shows to get through 2 surgeries and 8 chemo sessions
• Countless happy thoughts and the Village that got us through this
  

One of my favorite things every year is to put together a Christmas card with a bunch of photos and the typical 1 paragraph summary of the year’s events. Lately, I’ve been amusing myself with what I could write for this year (especially for folks who aren’t “in the know”) Can you imagine? Good suggestions have included “2006: F**k this S**t” and my personal favorite, an interactive worksheet of match the family member to the medical treatment:

But as I look back on 2006 and forward to whatever lies ahead, I don’t know if I’ve become any braver, or any stronger (maybe a little less of each, actually) but there’s a song, from the musical Rent that kinda sums it up for me (you know I had to include modified song lyrics in here somewhere)

Seasons of Love

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes. 525,000 moments so dear.
525,600 minutes—how do you measure, measure a year?
In nightmares, statistics, in treatments, in trips to the doctor?
In hair loss, in blogging, in laughter, in strife?
In 525,600 minutes- how do you measure a year in the life?
How about love?
Measure in love.
Seasons of love.

525,600 minutes. 525,000 journeys to span.
525,600 minutes - how can you measure a year that you never could’ve planned?
In strength that you gained, or in times that you cried?
In bravery you feigned, or how hard you tried?

It’s time now to sign out, tho the story never ends
let's celebrate remember a year in the life of friends.
Remember the love!
Measure in love.
Measure your life in love.
Seasons of love!

(singitwithmenow)